Less stress. Eat less. Less work. Less stress. Eat less. Less work.

This is what constantly runs though my mind before I head to work. I say a little prayer each day – for a hopefully peaceful day.

I’m supposed to be asleep right now because I’ll be charge tomorrow again. I can’t sleep because my mind is not at rest. My body’s aching – tired – sore. My last resort would be to end up taking medication for my anxiety.

This morning I came into work, expecting to do MDS so I came in late… I had a gut feeling the night before that someone would call off. It irked me for the longest time before heading off to bed. When I came in this morning, sure enough… I was told that I’d be charge. Eight hours off MDS – I’m behind again. I also had a no call – no show CNA.

I’m starting to write more. I need to.

People say that the facility I’m working at is such a “chill” place or “so easy”. What makes this place so easy is how many things people get away with. The bosses care up to a certain point. Red flag!

One point I’ll get across is – never admit a loved one into a nursing home!

I believe in what’s right. I try to be fair. I’m an advocate to these people. I want to do things the right way.

I don’t understand how some people pass medications to 40+ patients within 1 hour – sometimes even just 45 minutes

I don’t understand how some people don’t wash their hands

I don’t understand how some people don’t suction

I don’t understand how some people don’t flush Gtubes

I don’t understand how some people sleep on the job!

I don’t understand how some people skip house medications – just go for the important ones

I don’t understand how some people sit around at the station and just use their phone when they could be doing rounds

This is why I’m not fit for a nursing home.

People always ask why I look so stressed. The only thing I can tell them is, “You just don’t understand.”




Bigger, Better

Only after the third month of working at this facility, I was discouraged. I had very little to no excitement coming to work. I was doing swing shifts for a while. I started and only applied for the morning shift. Back in May, I worked night shifts.

First day in June, I switched back to day shift with a promotion! My previous post contains all the details – minus the small distractions that kept me going for so long. Mind you, I’ve only been in this facility for 6 months, but I’m already absolutely drained!

I have a fixed Tuesday – Saturday schedule now. When charge nurses call off, MDS takes over for that station. I remember when it was almost constant – the call offs. I was falling behind with my work and I would get chewed out for being behind. My coworker and I addressed the issue as to why we’re falling behind. No change. We would do double the amount of work, for the same pay as every charge nurse there.

By this time, July was coming around and I was finishing up a 16 hour shift as a charge nurse… After having a minor breakdown on my day off, I decided to apply for Kaiser and LA County. I wanted to have something to look forward to.

In August, I received a letter from LA County saying that my application was accepted and that I was scheduled to take a test. Long story short, I passed the test and received a phone call for my interview.

She only asked me 5 questions, smiled, and took notes. Although I was nervous, I felt pretty confident about my answers. Those questions showed up on my NCLEX!

So here I am, waiting… for my physical, which could take a whole month. I had my badge picture taken and fingerprints recently.

Change is coming. They’re going to feel it.



Things Unexpected

The feeling I had 2 years ago – the last time I wrote on here is quite the opposite of what I’m feeling today.

Nursing… is not what I expected it to be… at least where I’m working at so far.

Although there are brief moments where I enjoy helping and talking to patients – making them happy, and letting them vent their feelings… the part that makes us human…

There are the critical parts such as treatment and medications for the various medical conditions that these patients could have.

Yes… I enjoy what I do!

The rundown:

  • Charge nurse for 40+ elderly patients, most with dementia and in need of extensive assistance
  • Supervise 7 CNAs (if I’m lucky)
  • Med pass within 2 hrs
  • Carry out orders before your shift ends
  • Charting
  • Gtubes – galore

All of which I don’t mind – it can be done.

MDS (Minimum Data Set) – “VIP of the facility” – I guess…

Now with this promotion, there’s a heavy amount of work that we do. Yes, there’s more of us…

  • Assessments every three months for our 40+ residents
  • Meetings with family and interdisciplinary team weekly
  • Coding online – everyday (admission and discharge)
  • Careplans updated weekly
  • Weight / Diet Management
  • Feeding
  • Admission paperwork

The problem is:

I’m a charge nurse AND MDS – the difference between the two…

As a charge nurse, your work is done for the day. As MDS, your work is NOT done for the day – ever actually.

1 year later ~


Good evening all ~ It’s been a very long time since my last post…

I honestly almost forgot that I had a blog until today. I can’t stress how much has changed. The amount of people I’ve lost contact with and the few that I’ve gotten close to recently.

Why this picture?

It’s the realest and most relaxed I’ve been.. happy even (after the twist and turn of events).  This was the beginning of something different.

I started school again for LVN to hopefully bridge to RN. We shall see… I want to finish what I started and not doubt myself anymore.

At first, I was just visiting the school to inquire, but I ended up applying for the summer term. No more waiting around. So what did I do for those few months while waiting?

I filled out an application for a passport and left the country with a good friend of mine, whom I’m confused about at the moment..

Some time around March, we went to Mexico – Tijuana, La Bufadora, and Ensenada. It was not what I expected at all. I never imagined going to Mexico, after all the things my parents warned me about; trying to get me to change my mind about going. But I was curious… it’s a beautiful place.

In April, we made a spontaneous trip over to Vegas. I figured.. he should experience Vegas in his 20s at least once!

I met a lot of his family members in May when we went to San Felipe in Mexico. That was the most fun I’ve had in such a long time. Unforgettable.

June came too fast. Here I am in my second term and doing well so far. Two more terms to go then I get to take the NCLEX!

Working at my same job full time and school full time is tough… At times I feel like caving, but I keep reminders for myself so I don’t cave again.

I don’t have the same stress as  I did a few years ago…

Pray for me~


New Chapter or just a Revamped Version?

Question to start off the year (I’ll admit, it’s not a positive one… I came home from work totally drained of energy and pissed off)

There have been several changes since my last post that I’ll be experiencing for the rest of this year and onward (I hope)

  1. Started off Dec ’13 by working at my new job. (Remember the interview? Well, I got hired !)
  2. Gained an interest (or two). Totally unexpected, but that’s too personal to share.
  3. Became comfortable working with needles
  4. Learned a new language (still learning…) so I have to hold off on my Korean for a while so I don’t get confused.
  5. Started caring about fitness all over again (benefits of working in a healthcare environment.
  6. Vanity (Yes… I started caring about my appearance more… that’s because it’s a requirement at work)

After working at this site, I realized that even though it’s not my main interest, I don’t mind the environment at all. The company that surrounds you is what usually influences you to make certain actions or change some ideas. It’s only been a month and I hit it off with a lot of my coworkers. I’ve never been surrounded by so many coworkers with awesome personalities before.

In just these few short weeks, so much has happened… 

The big change that I kept talking about before… maybe this is just the start of it.

Who really knows?

This is a year of great opportunities and change. 


Selfless Holidays

It’s like I disappeared from the tech life altogether.

Okay… partially lying…

I’ve been lurking, but haven’t posted much, which is a miracle for me. I’ve actually been sleeping more; the after effect of working again.

I did some online shopping earlier this morning. No regrets because none of it is for me.

For such a long time, I haven’t given much to anyone because I never had enough. This time, I have a long list of people I want to give back to; a long list of people that deserve a treat for tolerating me for so long ♡


JC Bride ~

Black is:

The color of my coffee every morning

The color of my hair, my crowning glory

The color of my eyes, the window to my soul

The color of my sorrow, whenever I’m alone









Black is:

The color of the night, when dark thoughts are summoned

The color of dirt in my hand, as I crawl my way forth

The color of my shadow, to remind me of the light

The color of all colors, the shade of all shades


Daily Prompt: Intense!

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