An Unfading Commitment

I’ve given a lot of thought into what kind of tattoo I would get for such a long time.

6cac1b6ab75e835f51cf639ac39fc32dI was looking through some folders in my laptop when I came across one titled, ‘When you’re ready…

I’ve been collecting pictures off of various websites that I found appealing to me. I don’t want to get a tattoo simply because of how pretty it would look or a really great phrase that has absolutely no value to me.

Of course, once it’s done, you can’t change it. It’s permanent. Total understatement of the century. It’s a commitment that you’ll have to hold onto forever unless you decide to remove it. It’s painful to get as it to remove, so I’ve heard.

I thought of getting a dandelion, not on my wrist as shown in the picture. I’m not certain about the placement, but I also thought of having the words, ‘Joie de vivre’ along the side of it.

There’s nothing complicated or fancy about it, but I assure you, it means a lot for me.

Dandelions have many meanings to it. I used to come across these adorning the front yard of our old house. I was told to never touch it, but I was young so… I did. I didn’t see anything wrong with picking one, blowing the little weed in fascination when the little puff of white swept away in the breeze.

I was told that if you make a wish, it would come true. I was a true believer of these petty things. I was 6 years old and very gullible. Simple things were fascinating; anything related to a dream or wish was.

‘Joie de vivre’ came along as I grew older, when I was recovering through tough times.

The joy in life is to live your dream and let it lead you where it may.

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Picture: http://www.pinterest.com/mamab74/

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/12/01/prompt-tattoo/

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Feasible Acceptance

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Today I’m going to be working on my college applications. I’m still struggling over how I’m going to bring it up to my parents that I’m absolutely done… with nursing. I can’t stand the fact that I let it drag out for too long and convinced almost everyone that I’m going to end up becoming a nurse.

I hate that I did that.

I have to accept all the negative comments I’ll be receiving soon. I just don’t want to deal with it now. I know I should confront the issue, but I don’t want to be put down while I’m still in this dream-like state. I don’t know how long this will last, but I hope it doesn’t fade out before the year ends.

I’m scared because I don’t know what will become of this major I’m pursuing. I’m not too sure about becoming a teacher. I’m a bit reserved and it takes time for me to become comfortable. I don’t see myself working with kids because I was not raised around younger kids. I always associated with people my age. I’m not sure what it would be like working with middle schoolers or high schoolers either. I could imagine being a tutor or counselor of some sort, but again, that remains uncertain.

Although I’d love to become a writer, it leaves me with an unstable career because that would leave it up to my drive and motivation during the time to be able to create something pleasing to publish. I’d love to be a travel blogger. That would be a dream career for me, but money is an issue.

There’s so much I could partake in with an English degree, but I’ll have to wait and see where this will take me.

A lot of information runs through my mind everyday. I could probably write one-shots every single day because I’m an avid daydreamer. I have scenarios about everything that goes on in my life.

People think I don’t listen and space out, thinking about nothing. No.

I observe and take in my environment; music being my stimulant for creative juice. People don’t understand me. I don’t know how many times I’ve said this. I tend to talk about myself a lot or write about my interests. I feel that I do this because I always have to explain to others what I’m really about… I’m just that confusing to people.

Sometimes I have to write it out and read it over and over again to try to figure out who I am because whenever I’m asked about my interests, I start to clam up and forget. That’s just me. It stuns me every time I’m placed under the spotlight, where people are watching or judging me to hear what I have to say.

All of this helps me if I keep going at it. I used to write short paragraphs about who I was all about. I feel that I’m much more better at explaining who I am through writing. It’s a shame that I’m unable to express it verbally.

I’ve always had this impending feeling of doom whenever I got stared at; even though I tend to do that myself, upon others because I’m curious about my surroundings and the people I encounter.

Writing is healing. I truly believe the meaning of it. It feels good because everything I’ve ever thought about gets recorded, a sense of release. I let go of negativity this way.

I find that whenever I don’t write, I end up thinking about all this negativity and let it consume my thoughts, which leads to an unproductive day.

I want to explore and study abroad. To further creativity, you need to explore; not just sift through experiences, especially when you’re just cooped up at home. It helps to write freely in different environments, other than your usual spot at home.
Passion is strongest when you’re at ease.

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Very random post I did when I was using 750words.com. I had to omit some parts, but I did go over 750 words with this one. If you haven’t tried that site, you should as an exercise to get you going.

Night Owls and their Coffee ~

Habits are hard to break, especially when it comes to coffee, my personal escape to heighten my senses. For many reasons, I consider myself to be a morning person; not by choice.

Los Angeles | Many know this city as a place of action. You can’t miss the traffic, aggressive drivers, the accidents, the sounds of the sirens blaring through small neighborhoods, the pounding of car speakers, hopped-up LA people (the chatter), etc. All this movement tends to happen most during the day, as early as 6AM some days.

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Most workplaces come alive during the day. It’s busy everywhere you turn; save for the gated communities and   some private estates. Once you’re done with high school, you’re given the option to take night classes or afternoon classes. Of course, as a freshman, I did not want to peel myself out of bed in the morning, due to lack of sleep, just to go to class. At 17, I wasn’t too fond of college at the time. I was given a set schedule and of course… I was handed a few morning classes. It was also during those years, coffee became my best buddy.

I made a habit of staying up late because I was hardly home. Forever wandering. 

Every morning, I made my coffee at ease to start off my day and did what I was supposed to, my daily routine. Every morning I also found myself drained of energy even after a cup of brew… or even two! I would manage to pull myself together anyway just to get through the day.

By the time the busiest part of the day was over, it was  late in the afternoon, when the sun was close to setting. Street lights would flicker on, the trail of flowing red lights because of the traffic would pick up, the decor from rather expensive-looking restaurants would be illuminated by a luster of lights, etc. There’s less noise and it’s much more relaxing.

Needless to say, I was always tired after class or work, but that never stopped me from roaming the city late at night.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/11/14/daily-prompt-local/

(The picture above isn’t Los Angeles. Chose it because it’s appealing to me. Credit to owner of image -> http://inspiredbythisfeeling.tumblr.com/)

When my mind wanders…

Yesterday, I read something inspiring. I’m the type that likes to search for the meaning of life; to find my purpose. We’re all different. We keep telling each other that no one’s the same. I never looked into it, just accepted and ignored this saying. I moved on with my life, hearing “we’re all different” constantly. People keep telling me I’m different. I’m odd; just a bit off-beat in a tune.

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