Crave for Cozy

I love cozy; I’m in dire need of it. I can’t stress that enough especially because of the course of events I’ve experienced this year.

Luxury doesn’t have to be expensive. I’m blessed to have everything I need to live. These ‘things’ that I say I want, can wait… I don’t need them. Not now.

c490f9fdb421d90852ff5fcffb258383 I was not born into a rich family. I never got to experience that kind of luxury. I actually consider comfort a luxury. Why?

It’s 6AM in the morning, the time I wake up almost every single day. (I have a tendency to wake up before the sun rises) After shutting off my alarm, I usually wait for another 5 minutes before peeling the covers off to get up. Before I make my way down the top bunk, I sit up-top, overlooking the tiny bedroom I’ve lived in since elementary school. It’s been a very long time.

I always start my day with a coffee and check my email before heading out to run my errands, go to class, or work.

I’m busy all the time. I’m not sure if it’s just the amount of things I think about or the amount of things I do throughout day. Either way, I’m constantly engaged in something. My day comes to a close around sundown. By this time, I’m beat.

If it’s not the noise of living in the city, it’s the running or fast-pace walking I’m used to. This year it was rare for me to leisurely walk through the malls or the beach. I’m always in a rush, moving from place-place. ‘I’m running out of time!’ It’s a reminder I warn myself, usually around lunch time. Why do I do this? I don’t know. A lot has changed since the beginning of this year. I’m hardly at ease.

It totals up to 12 hours of being awake, whether I’m here at home or not.

The tension dissipates when the city gets quiet, when my neighbors stop yelling, when the kids go indoors…

I don’t sleep right away when I get here. I either eat or become totally engrossed with my laptop to catch up on news or replenish my energy with upbeat music, as if I need it.

I’m a night owl. I’m used to functioning well in these hours. I just can’t fall asleep no matter how tired I am. As of right now, it’s 1230AM of Sunday! I lost track of time again.

I finally figured out why… it’s simple and clear.

I’m not comfortable. I’ve never been. I’m awake during the day because I have to, but I’m always drowsy. At night, my energy picks up, but not as much.

It’s the bed I come home to, to unwind and take a breather, from this lifestyle… It’s all worn out. I sink into some areas of it, embracing me uncomfortably. It’s a twin size bed up-top; I can only move so much… How did I get used to sleeping this way for 16 years?

I have no choice due to some circumstances.

When I get the chance, when I reach stability, I’ll save up enough to have my own space; my own little haven. It’s almost a rare opportunity for me to plop onto a comfy, cozy bed and drift off to sleep.

I’d love it. I can’t wait 🙂

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Picture: http://imgfave.com/view/4086519?u=94216

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/11/29/daily-prompt-jones/

 

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An Unusual Mo(u)rning

This morning I woke up to silence. I share the bedroom with my parents. I was used to the sounds of the tv on every morning and the small talk between my parents. Everyone was gone…

IMAG0067I checked the time and saw that it was actually 9, not that late, but today just felt… different. I couldn’t describe the feeling. Something was just… off.

Every morning, I’d usually be greeted by the kitties and the pup. They would paw at my legs routinely, gesturing for attention. It didn’t happen this morning. I wondered where everyone went.

I found the pup. He was lazing around in the living room with my parents, who were watching tv and finishing up their breakfast. I glanced at one part of the room and saw one of the cats in the closet, grooming himself. Everything seemed normal. I prepared my usual black coffee, one of the three I had this morning, before retreating to the bedroom to check some emails. I finally found my other cat, napping.

I did a double-take because he was not napping at his usual spot. I know him so well. He hardly hid whenever he slept so I pulled away from my laptop to check on him. He was lying behind a mass of pillows, in a deep sleep. I didn’t disturb him, but I observed for a few minutes. It was very odd.

I left him for a bit… I thought, ‘Maybe he’s just very tired. He’s being a cat. Leave him be.’ Still, something bothered me about the fact he was hidden away so I checked on him again. I pet him, but he didn’t respond right away. He didn’t even lift his head; just opened his eyes slowly to glance at me.

Something was wrong.

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